A look back on 2015...


2015 was an odd year for me. I did a lot of things that I never thought I would and faced a lot of challenges that I would never want to face again. The year started with the fallout of christmas 2014, with family arguing, court cases and just a general feeling of dread. And this didn't really end for several weeks. As family issues slowly became less of a pressure, my relationship became more of one.

After dealing with all the stresses of January and overthinking things constantly in my head, I began to wonder about my relationship. Long distance is always hard but I'd never doubt it before the start of 2015. Now, I've sat here wondering whether there is such a thing as over sharing on a blog and whether I should ever openly admit to this next bit but I've decided that if I want people to realise that these sorts of things are sometimes a normal part of life, then I have to be open about things. And so, 2015 became the year in which I cheated for the first time. Am I proud of it? No. Do I regret it? No. Why? Because even though I knew nothing would ever become of "us", being with someone else made me realise that I wasn't happy where I was and so I did something about it.

And that kind of set the tone for (most of) my 2015. For the first time in a long time, I decided to start doing things for me, not because of what I thought I should be doing. And this was only strengthened by my growing friendship with two of my work colleagues. They both taught me a lot in a short space of time and for the first time in years I felt like I had two people I could trust with any of my problems (there are just some things only a best friend understands). We started going to the gym together, on shopping trips to Bristol, round each others house just to watch Game of Thrones and eat takeaway and honestly, I loved every second. There were no boundaries with conversation and we'd sing stupid songs to one another and pretend we were Destiny's Child in the car.

They were even my third and fourth wheels and Chelsea's child, Dylan, was my fifth wheel when I went to meet Joey for the first time. Because that's just how I role. After breaking up with Lewis, I'd decided that I was going to take new relationships really slow and when I met Joey, I actually did a pretty decent job it. Until a few months down the line that is. But we'll get to that. I was the happiest I'd been in a long time, family life was looking up, I had friends, my job was fab and my boyfriend was lush.

As part of my doing things for myself attitude, I decided to try a few things that I never felt able to before. As I said, I'd always do what I thought other people wanted me to do and so I'd never tried going to a nightclub as it wasn't something other people close to me really approved of. However, I decided to give it a go on day last year and to my surprised I actually really enjoyed myself. I thought I'd struggle with my panic attacks but I had a great support network around me which I think made a massive difference.

Another thing I never thought I would try but always wanted to was going to a festival. And come around July time when festival season is very nearly at it's end, I messaged my friend Bekah and asked her if she fancied V Fest as the line up seemed to be more chart music so I figured the festival wouldn't be as full on as something like Download (definitely want to go to Download one year!). We booked our tickets and arranged everything as finally the weekend came about. I wasn't really sure what to expect as obviously what you see on TV of festivals is all very edited and so not the most reliable on how the whole experience was going to be. However, being a little country bumpkin, I had no issues with any of it. I love camping and we were lucky enough to have really glorious sunshine for almost all of the weekend. We had a blast and saw some really incredible musicians (blog post on that here). I can't wait for festival season this year!

I also went to London for the first time - twice! Well, technically not the first time as I went twice with school and college but that was only to visit museums and the supreme court and so I didn't really walk around London a lot. Me and Bekah went to see Ed Sheeran perform at the Wembley Stadium and so I went on the underground for the first time. It was also the first time I'd set foot in a stadium and the atmosphere was unreal. I then went shopping for the day on Oxford Street with Chelsea which was amazing!

Then things sort of quietened down for me until the end of September which is when I took my little sister to watch New Zealand v Georgia as part of the Rugby World Cup at Cardiff Millennium Stadium. It was also the time that I decided to move out of my parents home and move to Cardiff. This is also where things went wrong with Joey - blog post here. However, I did it! I became independent and moved into my own place in another country (England - Wales. Totally counts!). And I couldn't feel better for it! I won't lie and pretend like it was easy because it was the single toughest thing I've ever had to face. And I'm still trying to get my head around everything. But I love Wales and the people there. Just a shame it had to be spoilt but one person really.

And whilst all of this has been going on, I made the decision to start my Access to Nursing course in the hope of going to university this September, I've been applying for uni, I'm starting my dispenser training soon and I've been working full time in a pharmacy job. I also went to see Michael McIntyre in Bristol and Skindred in Cardiff on halloween and to Dismaland in Weston. And of course there were several BBQ's and dinner parties and meals out throughout the year.

And of course 2015 was the year I got my first tattoo...it was a small one but still. I definitely want loads more.

It's fair to say, 2015 has been a rollercoaster of a year and at times I wasn't sure I was going to make it through, but with the support of my family, friends, my new welsh family and my work family, I've made it to 2016 a stronger, more independent and determined woman.

How was your 2015?
Do you feel as though you achieved a lot?

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