Breaking Bad


Breakups are the worst, as I'm sure you're aware. And do they get any easier the older you get? Do they heck! If anything I'm finding it harder and harder to deal with. (Sorry, bit of a brutal truth there, but I'm not saying it's the same for everyone!)

Now I'm still in the early stages of this breakup (it happened just over a week ago) so I know I haven't fully gone through the motions yet. Any for those young enough not to have experienced a long term relationship end, yes there are several stages you go through and yes it's all perfectly normal.

I started off feeling numb, lying in bed wondering if it had really just happened. Internally I felt like screaming and shouting but I just led there blinking into space not knowing how to feel. And then several hours later, after begging and pleading for a second chance, it finally hit me and Niagara falls fell out of my eyes. I sobbed to the point where you do that weird breathing and you can't stop shaking.

And if I'm completely honest, this kept happening to me for the next few days. I was completely at a loss of what I was going to do. My circumstances were slightly different from most peoples in that I had literally (2 days prior) just moved from Somerset to Cardiff for this relationship and now it didn't exist anymore. So I was trying to deal with a new job, being in a new country where I know literally 2 people, not seeing my family or friends whenever I needed to and being dumped. You can imagine how severe the mood swings were.

I flicked between hating him and wanting him back faster than the length of Katie Prices marriages. And all I could keep telling myself was that it is completely normal. I was going through what I needed to go through. And I'm still doing it now.

The reason breakups don't get any easier as you get older? Because relationships mean more the older you are. When I was 15 and got dumped yeah it hurt like a bitch, but a few days later I was okay again. Fast forward 4 years and I'm wondering if I'll ever fully get over this breakup. Simply because I felt so much more for him, we shared so many moments and they're what keep popping into my head.

It's never easy for relationships to end but you have to remember that you are fabulous and don't need someone else to make you happy! Surround yourself with great friends and do things that make you happy! Relationships will happen when you least expect it, trust me.

Have you experienced a bad breakup?
How did you deal with it?

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